Shock and Forcing Emotions

Initial Shock of Grief

For Aidan, I wanted there to be this feeling that he was trying too hard to stay in control and not cry, because even when Sky was alive, he was composed and never cried, and because of his childhood, he toughened up.

So I looked first into how I could incorporate this by showing the symptoms of initial shock, by having him standing over a sink after having vomited. He won't be seen vomiting, but he will be trying to keep himself composed. (This will also set up the bathroom for later scenes).

"Sudden loss may put the body into shock. You will feel numb and disoriented. Some individuals go into denial, pretend the loss did not happen or may want to see proof that the loss did in fact occur. Nausea, vomiting, shaking, chills and fainting are all symptoms of shock. After the initial shock of the event, it is common for depression to begin. Excessive fatigue, laziness, isolation, loss of appetite and sadness are signs of depression. Depression is a normal feeling during the grieving process, but in the extreme, the individual might experience suicidal thoughts or the inability to move on and function. This is complicated grief because the individual is stuck in the beginning stage of grief."

With this there is also this element of denial, and for the later scene, Aidan tries to forget Sky by removing anything that reminds Aidan of him.

Forcing Youself Not To Cry

In response to this, I looked into what happens when someone who is grieving tries to fight the feelings they really want to express, such as crying and trying not to do so.

"My concern is not whether you ever cry, but whether you try to force feelings to stay inside of you. We personally have known thousands of people who made themselves sick because they didn't tell the truth about how they felt – with or without crying."

Alongside forcing himself not to cry, he eventually tries to move on too soon through the spiritual events where a blue scarf appears and a coat keeps dropping to the floor. With these events, Aidan is reminded of Sky, whereas everything else was blended in to the background at this stage and he hadn't noticed. But it is the blue scarf that does it, as Aidan knows this was Sky's favourite scarf, and if this reminds him of Sky, then everything else will as well.

"When you lose someone you love, and try to “move on” too soon, you end up hurting yourself because the above transformations don’t have a chance to take place."

And because of him trying too quickly to forget, he ends up causing himself a breakdown. Of course the film would work much more if there was a longer time limit, but with the restrictions, time jumps are an option.

Links:
http://www.ehow.co.uk/list_7646581_signs-complicated-grief.html
http://www.tributes.com/grief_recovery_center/featured_answer/124
https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110825182936AAQi5pm
http://mindfulconstruct.com/2008/12/11/moving-on-from-loss-through-grief/
https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=plMxKFs7QhYC&pg=PA8&lpg=PA8&dq=forcing+yourself+not+to+cry+grief&source=bl&ots=oYBJXP9c9J&sig=K7oTC6X5WQQVJABNs5n6srmvkEc&hl=en&sa=X&ei=L4kZVd3QFszeOMClgdAI&ved=0CFUQ6AEwDDgK#v=onepage&q=forcing%20yourself%20not%20to%20cry%20grief&f=false